Homesick in the Desert. Albuquerque, New Mexico. (3 March 2019)

I just woke up. It's around 7:30 am, and I'm still in the Wal Mart parking lot. I couldn't sleep last night, and I don't function well when I don't get enough sleep. So, I'll probably be discombobulated all day today. I haven't had any coffee. Maybe I need to get more exercise during the day. I'm going to start driving towards Amarillo, Texas. I still haven't received my tax return, and it would be nice to have that extra cash in my pocket. I need to stop at a dollar store today because my headlight is falling out of the housing area. I'm going to tape it down so it stops falling out. I kind of feel like going back to California, but it's so early in the trip. I can't stop thinking about my family. I am concerned about them all. I know my dad is getting older, and he's struggling with diabetes and his eyes are bad. I worry about losing him. And, then I worry about my brothers and sisters. What will happen to them if my dad does die? How will they support themselves? Then, I tell myself that I have to do things for myself. I have to be on this road trip. Because I wasn't in a good place. I want my brothers and sisters to understand that they can't just rely on my dad for the rest of their lives. I worry about their futures. I want them all to be successful. I want them to be independent, and not have to rely on the system to survive. Sometimes, contentedness isn't the same as happiness. I want them to want to learn about the world the same way that I've learned. I just have to suppress these homesick emotions. I've been working on a few new beats lately, and I'm going to put out an instrumental tape after I get a few of these beats finished up and sounding good.

It's around 10:00 pm. I'm at a rest area near the New Mexico/Texas border. It's kind of cold up here. I'm glad I brought my sleeping bag because if I didn't I'd be cold as fuck right now! I bought some tape at this dollar General in New Mexico along the I-40, and my headlight no longer hangs out of the housing area. Everytime I drive through a major city the traffic becomes hectic. Pheonix traffic was horrible, and the roads were full of potholes. Albuquerque actually had really nice freeways. They looked like they were brand new. Damn, it's cold right now. I never thought I'd be this cold in the desert. I'll be in Amarillo tomorrow, and I'll probably stay there for a few days. I've been going to the Planet Fitness to shower. Luckily, there are thousands of Planet Fitness gyms across the US. There's nothing worse than not being able to shower. I've also learned that a lot of these truck stops have showers in them. The price is kind of discouraging, though. $12 for one shower. But it is a really nice shower, and you get towels, soap and I don't think there's a time limit. I'm about to get a bottle of Gin, a piece of chicken and some potato wedges from Wal Mart. Then, I'm going to call it a night. Well, make some beats, then, watch a movie on Netflix. Every time I think about Albuquerque, I can't help but think about Breaking Bad. That show was really good. I think I binge watched the entire thing in a few days back when I was in college. lol And, I still got my work done.