Fortworth, Texas! Guinness At Finn McCool's. (5 March 2019)

I took the wrong exit when I arrived in Fortworth. I could see the sky rise from the interstate, and I figured that I was close enough to Downtown Fortworth that I could take the streets the rest of the way. I'm glad I did too. Just outside of the downtown area is a western styled commerce area where the roads are brick. The design of the brick is chaotic and wild, and doesn't fit any conventional pattern. It really brought me back to the old west. I'm dissapointed that I didn't spend more time there, but I had a good time in Fortworth regardless. After driving through that little fragment of the wild west, I made my way through Downtown Fortworth until I found a McDonald's where I charged my electronics and Googled things to do nearby. I found a bar called McCool's, and my mind was made up. I'm cool, I drink, I'm at Mcdonald's, I think I'm Irish. . . Isn't every American a little Irish? At least we like to tell people that we are. I'm glad that I went there, and, strangely, the bartender looked exactly like my ex-girlfriend. Well, not her physical appearance, but style wise, she reminded me of her. She was cool too. She liked to talk about Game of Thrones. She had a scarf with an illustrated map of the Game of Thrones' mythical setting. I told some joke about the ancient Saxons, and how they would live in the north, gain numbers, then, raid all of the countries in other parts of Europe. They were nomadic psychopaths. They were serial murderers and rapists, and, interestingly, their DNA makes up a large part of western society today. I don't think she understood what I was talking about. I ordered about $20 worth of Guinness, and played a few songs in the jukebox. I played a few UGK songs, and a couple of Outkast songs. I get a lot of joy from listening to the filthy, sex filled songs that UGK made. It really makes me laugh a lot of times. They have a song in one of their early records that talks about fucking pregnant women. It is the most vulgar, disgusting thing you'd ever listen to, but I find it engrossing. It is so foreign to me, and it's so vulgar and dirty that I find myself laughing through most of the song. It's like listening to one of your uncles talk about the shit he'd do back in his day. I'm not sure if UGK were really fucking pregnant women, but I know that the shock value is there. And, their music is dope! Later in their career, they made some really beautiful music with a strong message on the streets and on the life they've lived. Later in the night, the bar filled up with locals, and most of them knew the bartender. I was already fucked up by this time, but I remember a little of the bull session. A kid in his early twenties walked into the bar, and began talking about stocks and whether or not I was the FBI. I remember telling him that any one here could be the feds. "Shit, you're probably the feds," I said. Then, the conversation randomly turned to psychedelics. They collectively said that they enjoyed doing psychedelics, I think it was shrooms or acid or some shit. I intentionally refrain from anything that will make me feel like anything other than myself. I don't see the need to go to that place. To completely escape reality is pointless to me. I'm really careful around other people because I know that no matter where you go there will be predators. People will try to get anything that they can out of you, and I'm usually already one thousand steps ahead of the other person. It's not because I know them personally, but I know human behavior. I understand how society works, and what motivates people. I could imagine being a woman out here on the road alone. It would be frightening. I know that if something gets crazy or heated, I can throw my fists or hit a motherfucker in the head with a bottle or do whatever I have to do to defend myself and get out of that situation, but most women wouldn't be able to defend themselves if a man were to attack them or try to take advantage of them. After, we talked psychedelics and I made it clear that I don't mess around with anything other than alcohol and a little marijuana, which they offered and I declined, the bar began to clear out. It was me, the bartender, and an old man spitting and drinking out of the same Styrofoam cup he'd held onto the entire day into the night. He would take a sip of (what he told me was) Coca Cola through the straw, then, he'd lift the plastic lid and spit right back into the same cup he'd been drinking. It was the most disgusting thing I'd ever seen in my life. I'm not sure if he was chewing tobacco or what, but it grossed me out. I didn't understand the logic. Was the spit floating on top of the soda? Was he drinking the spit? Why didn't he just get a different cup to spit in?? It was strange. He turned that cup into his own man made watering hole. When it was around two am, I went to my car and fucked with a few beats and listened to some UGK on iTunes. I'm at a little Mexican restaurant near Finn McCool's planning out my day in Dallas.