Bye Bye, California! (Friday 1 March 2019)

I got out of bed around six am this morning, and hopped in the shower. After that, I began packing the rest of my things into the trunk of my car. I didn't sleep all night, and I stopped drinking around one in the morning. I ate macaroni and cheese with canned tuna, laid down, and just played possum until six. This is becoming a usual occurrence. I lay down, and can't sleep all night, and I just lay there until the sun comes up. I wake up feeling confused, upset, angry, but it's becoming more manageable. I usually wouldn't just lay there all night. I'd usually get up, and start making music or watch a movie or YouTube. Eventually, I'd fall asleep. I needed the rest for the trip coming up, so, I laid there all night until the morning. I need to see the country. Meet new people. Experience the world. We can become our environment. It literally defines us. A major part of who we are is where we are, and this isn't a bad thing for most people. But, I understand the vastness of space. The infinite possibilities in experience. I have good memories growing up in Ontario, but I'm going to die one day, and I want my life to be a complete life. The shower helped me feel better. I've been planning this trip for about a month, and I'm glad that I'm finally on the road. After I packed up my car I drove to the Mobil about a half mile from my apartment, and I filled up my tank, bought a pack of cigarettes, and I took a little cash out of the ATM. I drove back to the apartment, and paid my dad sixty dollars that I owed him. I gave my dad a hug, told my mom and [brother], who was the only one awake, that I loved them, and I was out the door. I tried to make my way to the highway, but I'm not that familiar with the roads in San Bernardino, so I got lost for about ten minutes. Eventually, I found my way to the 210, and transferred to the 10. I made it to Blythe, and I filled up my gas tank. I kept driving until I reached the next Rest Area. I took a piss, and I put oil in my engine. An old couple pulled up next to me and they were kind of staring at my car. I feel embarrassed of my car because it's so old, but I bought the thing for $100. I can't stop thinking of how people are conditioned to think a particular way. We are all conditioned to think a particular way. Whether it comes from life or art or both, we are influenced by the world we live in. It starts at a young age. Anyways, I'm in Pheonix, Arizona right now at a Wal Mart. I'll probably sleep here over night. I'm going to go get a piece of chicken and some potato wedges from the Wal Mart. Their bakery is fire! I figure that I can save money by eating chicken and potatoes the entire trip. Or, I've been hitting up the dollar menu at McDonald's and other fast food places. I'm glad I'm on this trip, and I am excited for what is coming in the future.